 "Photo: Danielle Cherry")
Students of Ailing Mothers and Fathers — a peer led support group for students coping with illness or death of a loved one — has come to campus. AMF, a national organization started by a student at Georgetown University, is now a registered student organization.
“Thirty to 40 percent of individuals will experience a loss before or during college,” Danielle Cherry, president of the group, said. “The big thing for this group is to let students know they are not alone.”
Cherry, who suddenly lost her father to brain cancer in April, heard about the organization through her boyfriend and thought it was important to bring it to the university.
She found it comforting to be able to speak to others and share her stories, realizing others probably had similar experiences with losing a loved one, she said.
“These are very sensitive subjects,” Cherry said. “It’s hard to reach out and can be overwhelming, but the primary goal is to help each other cope and to gather support.”
The organization consists of two separate entities: a support group which allows students to talk about their personal experiences, hardships, and feelings; and a service group, where all students work together to fight back against what has taken their loved ones trough volunteering for the causes.
Cherry said she thinks the university has done a great job organizing or hosting events for similar purposes and the counseling services are great, but sometimes students are looking to talk to friends or peers rather than specialists.
Senior Brittany Holiday who lost her father at age 14 to complications with diabetes is a member of AMF. Having gone through the experience many years ago, she said she felt it was appropriate to join.
“I’ll be 22 in January, and I recognize a lot of students who are younger are experiencing what I did,” she said. “I’ve been through it before and I thought I could help.”
Holiday said her situation changed her life and healing is a process. AMF is a great addition for students at the university, she said.
Carlene Meaney, a junior and vice president of AMF said the group has been beneficial for her since its creation in October.
“Talking in general helps so much but talking with those who understand is extremely comforting,” she said.
Meaney’s mother passed away in 2008 after battling with breast cancer. She said although she is just happy to have the organization on campus, their goal is to really to expand the group. All students are welcome, she said.
Sarah LaFave joined AMF after hearing from Meaney. LaFave’s mother passed away while she was in high school, and said although her death occurred years ago, it is a life event that affects her every day.
“It’s not something that you can get over or move on from,” LaFave said. “It’s present in your life and you must treat it as such.”
She said AMF gives her a time devote her thoughts and emotions towards the loss of her mother in the presence of others.
“It helps me, and I think it is respectful to my mom’s memory,” she said.
Cherry said although the group is new, members have a lot of goals for the spring and for the future. She said the national organization has been extremely responsive and helpful in getting things set up at the university.
This coming holiday season, AMF will be putting together care packages. All members are encouraged to make a package and deliver it to a special someone who has been important in their lives. They will also be participating in Relay for Life and hope to work with other RSOs, such as Lori’s Hands.
Cherry said together the group is coming along and together they will benefit each other and grow.
LaFave echoed these feelings
“AMF brought people together in powerful way. That’s an achievement is itself,” she said.
Together the group continues to cope and reach out to others. Progress both personally and collectively is apparent.
“Grief is not a disease and there is no real cure,” Lafave said. “It’s a process that we work at together and hope gets better.”
Correction: An earlier version of this article incorrectly stated when Danielle Cherry's father died. He died in April 2009.
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