The Review

Issue date: 4/24/07 Section: Editorial

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Maybe the Buddhist idea that we are all connected is not so far off. We've all played games like six degrees of separation, also known as six degrees of Kevin Bacon. Those games, while a good way to pass the time on long car rides, also speak to a deeper truth - that we all are connected.

Over Spring Break I went to visit my friend Jen at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University. It was a normal college visit, catching up with old friends and meeting her Hokie family. While there we decided to go see the movie "300" and she invited some of her friends from school. One of her friends whom I met there was Ross Alameddine. On April 16 Ross was shot and killed in his French class.

I only knew him for six hours.

I remember the time well though. I sat behind him as he drove Jen, her friend Brendan and I to the movie. I remember liking the music on Ross' iPod - his taste in jazz and the fact that he listened to Sufjan Stevens and Ben Folds. Jen and I sat in the backseat. She napped as Brendan, Ross and I talked. As we talked I could tell he was the type of person who listened intently to each word you were saying as you spoke - he seemed so interested in hearing what I had to say, even though we had just met. It was that sincerity that made him seem very familiar. It never felt like that was our first conversation.

I only knew Ross very briefly - only a car ride to the movie and back. I knew him briefly, and yet I am distraught by his death.

I thought I would find solace on Web sites like Facebook, because after all, it was a place everyone was gathering to share what they knew and how they felt. But instead, I began feeling impatient and irritated. Why? Because I knew I could not begin to understand the kind of grief and sadness the people who lost loved ones felt, and yet, here I was confronted with an instant village of mourners, most of whom didn't know any of the victims. Some went on Facebook to message friends and family to get information and check in. But the majority seemed to be joining groups related to the events at Tech.

I understand that for some it is a way to bond and show support in a situation when we are all left feeling helpless, but I cannot help but feel that it is false compassion. To me if someone joins a "Remember VT" or "We Are All Hokies" group and does nothing else to be compassionate, they are exhibiting emotion, but I doubt it is genuine "compassion." It seems more like "following the herd" to me, doing what seems appropriate at the time because a lot of other people are doing it.

Continued...

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