2008 Woodie Awards
College romance, fact or fiction?
Why do nice guys finish last?
by Steve Russolillo
Issue date: 2/13/07 Section: Editorial
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Valentine's Day is a superficial Hallmark holiday - but hear me out. I don't mind showing up to a girl's place with a bouquet of flowers, taking her to a nice restaurant and watching a movie.
Let's be realistic. Dinner and a movie is rare these days, especially in college. Society has changed through the years, there is no denying it. Students are more interested in getting wasted with their friends at Shaggy's on a Thursday night or hitting up '80s night at Kate's.
So what has happened to the art of dating?
After sitting around and talking to my roommates about this issue, we've come to the conclusion that technology, media and culture are the three reasons for making dating yesterday's news. Cell phones, AIM and Facebook have revolutionized interactions with other people.
Calling a girl's house phone and risking speaking to her father is obsolete. Who doesn't have a cell phone today? It doesn't make men of our generation cowards. Times are different.
AIM and Facebook - same thing. Are you telling me I should mail a love letter with rose-scented potpourri to the girl I am attracted to? Hell no! She would either get freaked out and call the cops or hang it on the refrigerator for all of her roommates to mock.
We have become a product of our own technological vices and forms of media. Everyone thinks the time period from college up until our 30s is a never-ending MTV party with free drinks, promiscuous sex and flashy clothing. Everyone is selfish, concerned with "me" before anything else.
Someday in the not-too-near future, we all lose our looks. Who is going to love you when your looks are gone? You can fool yourself and get plastic surgery and Botox. But you know what, we were hardwired to age - and changing one's age isn't healthy or natural. You have to love someone for what's inside them, not how hot they look at a bar.
But that's part of the problem. People are caught up with their looks, causing nice guys to finish last. It's a stereotype that we can't escape, especially in college.
Girls love the chase. They are attracted to the good looking player who will work some cheesy lines at a bar and buy them a few drinks with hopes he will call the next day. When the guy doesn't call, the girl gets upset and wonders why he is an asshole. The cycle repeats itself and the girl gets more frustrated, claiming all guys suck, even though she does nothing to change her own situation.
Nice guys cannot show up to the bar and say, "Excuse me miss, can I please take you out on a date?" We would get laughed at in a second.
So why do girls go for players and assholes when they know their goal is to end up with a nice guy eventually? Why waste precious time in college striving for something that is not realistic and rather counterproductive?
We live in a different society compared to our parent's and grandparent's generations. This isn't the '20s, or even the '50s, for that matter. Courtship does not exist anymore. Women's rights play a central role in the dating world and current lack there of. Girls have equal power as guys, exercising it freely in various realms - dating among them.
So, now you have two sides doing whatever they want, which causes confusion. Both parties are left in limbo, taking a holiday like Valentine's Day to force people to go on a date.
I still love Valentine's Day. Whether the holiday is superficial or not is moot. It causes people to finally be real with one another. It forces our generation to turn off MTV, sit down to a nice meal and truly get to know one another.
Technology and culture have ruined the dating scene, there's no denying it. And there is no need to blame guys. Both men and women are focused on playing the game and love blaming the opposite sex for society's malfunctions. But we need to have faith. There has to be hope for our generation.
Let's start creating a positive hope with this year's Valentine's Day.
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