 "Photo: Steven Gold")
Scott Fried, a motivational speaker and author affected by AIDS, delivered a presentation titled "AIDS, Love and Staying Alive" to the university on Wednesday and Thursday in the Trabant University Center's Multipurpose rooms.
Fried's visit to the university was sponsored by KOACH, a conservative Jewish Registered Student Organization on campus.
Janice Neiman, social chair of KOACH, said she believed Fried could bring a message to the university that no one else could.
"He relates to every student, Jewish or not, and he makes us all realize there are stories behind the AIDS disease," Neiman said.
Fried also spoke to classes at the university and at a service at the Kristol Hillel Center on Friday night.
Fried contracted HIV on Nov. 30, 1987 in his first and only unsafe sexual encounter.
He has been speaking around the country at schools, churches and synagogues for 17 years about topics ranging from AIDS to college life to Tikkun Olam, a Jewish idea of making the world a better place. In all of his presentations there is one prevailing message - "You are enough."
Fried began his presentation by asking the audience three questions: "Who are you?" "Whose arms do you fall into?" "Are you enough without those people?"
He told Old Testament stories about Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. In all of the stories, the central question was, "What is your name?"
Fried focused on this question because the man who gave him the disease did not know his name.
He said he believes the reason he now has AIDS is because in a way, he thought he deserved it. Fried said he did not fight hard enough not to contract the disease.
"I didn't have a death wish," he said, "but I didn't have a life wish either."
Fried told the audience to realize they are worthy of love no matter what clothes they wear or what grades they receive. He also stressed the importance of being able to reveal one's secrets to someone who actually sees oneself.
"Everyone has a closet of secrets," Fried said. "Closets are not just for the gay community."
All people long for the moment they can come out of their closet and have a loving other see them for who they really are, he said.
Fried said practicing safe sex is one way for people to love who they are. He discussed different scenarios in which college students could find themselves in on a regular basis. He had one main piece of advice.
"Just wear a condom," Fried said.
Sophomore Ivy Cohen said she realizes casual sex acts are not as stigmatized as they were in the past, but it is still important for people to protect themselves against diseases.
"Students do not take safe sex seriously enough," Cohen said. "They need to put more effort into making the right decisions."
Fried lives with the consequences of not using a condom on that November night 21 years ago. He goes to the doctor every three months, gives 11 test tubes of blood and waits for his T-cell count. At his last appointment, he said his T-cell count had doubled.
Until two years ago, Fried only took vitamins, herbs and other supplements to reduce his AIDS symptoms. He brought 45 pills with him to his presentations and swallowed them three at a time.
Freshman Eric Oppenheimer attended one of Fried's presentations in high school and was amazed by what he saw. It was the first time he realized what someone with AIDS went through.
"It was heart-wrenching," Oppenheimer said.
Fried has now started taking prescribed medication to fight his disease. He appears healthy, but said he feels nauseous every morning from the drugs.
Fried finds strength in his AIDS support group based in New York City, where he lives. The group provides a place for those with the disease to talk, but Fried's group also has a special place in Broadway history.
The Broadway musical "Rent," is based partly off friends Fried met in his support group. He said one of his friends always mentioned how he measured a year in cups of coffee and that was the inspiration for the song "Seasons of Love."
Fried's favorite connection to "Rent" comes from one of his best friends. The producer wanted to write a song about a blessing, but his friend refused to hear it.
"She said that people with AIDS would never bless the disease," he said, "and the producer went back to the drawing board."
Fried honored his 138 friends who have died from AIDS at the end of his presentation. He displayed a video he composed of snapshots and voices from his answering machine of his friends who have passed away.
"I was blessed to have known them," Fried said.
He said he was always very religious and family-oriented as a child and young adult, but his bonds with his family and perception of God have changed since he found out he had AIDS.
Fried's greatest accomplishment in the past 21 years has been his relationship with his father. His disease opened up the loving and healing relationship both had always wanted.
Fried has also found new meaning in the Jewish holiday Sukkot since he was diagnosed with AIDS.
"The sun shining in the stain-glassed window is brighter," he said. "The prayers touch my heart in a way they never did before."
Fried said his main purpose in delivering speeches about AIDS is to educate people of all ages.
"I want people to not feel distant and shut off," he said. "I want to make people feel less alone in their lives because there are others like them."
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