The anti-Valentine's Day

It doesn't take a brain surgeon to realize that Valentine's Day wasn't created for men. No guy wants flowers, cards or chocolates - all of that sappy romance stuff is for girls.

So for guys, what could be better than a male version of Valentine's Day exactly one month later where your woman cooks you a big juicy steak and maybe afterwards sits you down for a nice, relaxing blowjob?

"It's almost perfect," says senior Steve Herst, who heard about Steak and Blowjob Day his sophomore year.

"I put up a sign on my door asking for volunteers to which everyone, male and female, replied and scheduled 15-minute appointments."

Herst says he thinks Steak and Blowjob Day should be used as a way to even the score after Valentine's Day. He says if Valentine's Day is Mother's Day, then Steak and Blowjob Day qualifies as Father's Day.

"Every year when I had a girlfriend I would spend an inordinate amount of money on her, with little in return in terms of gifts," he says. "So it's a crude attempt at balance, but it shouldn't be taken too seriously."

According to Steakandbjday.com, the holiday was created in 2002 on a radio show in Providence, R.I., starring a man named Tom Birdsey. His goal was to make it a national holiday. He currently has 10 printable Steak and Blowjob Day greeting cards available on his Web site.

Five years later, it's no longer the radio, but Facebook is advertising this holiday with numerous groups and events, some with more than 2,000 members from the United States, Canada and the United Kingdom. One such event has more than 63,000 confirmed guests.

Freshman Dave Scholl learned about the pairing of meat and sexual favors when he received a Facebook event invitation for an unusual holiday.

"I thought it was so funny I had to attend," Scholl says. "Valentine's Day is such a bigger tradition but we should start this one."

Junior Danielle Gelber, however, doesn't think a nice hummer is as important as a nice thought.

"I kind of see the point behind steak and a BJ," Gelber says, "but I think there are different motives behind it."

For those who are taking the anti-Valentine's Day seriously and are still single, it might be easier to get a date on Valentine's Day than steak and service a month later. But when it comes down to it, March 14 isn't that different from any other day. No special plans are needed. You might even have a steak sitting in your freezer right now, and your girlfriend might just do it anyway.

On Birdsey's site, he says it might even make Valentine's Day that much better.

"Finally, this twin pair of Valentine's Day and Steak and Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere try that much harder in February to ensure a memorable March 14th," he says. "It's like a perpetual love machine!"

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3 comments

Rob

Tue Mar 16 2010 12:07

Journalism at its finest! Maybe you can write about Talk Like a Pirate Day next...

Anonymous

Mon Mar 15 2010 00:21

This is the most despicable article I have yet to read from The Review. It is utterly repulsive that the paper would publish such degrading filth. It is all the more contemptible that one finds humor in the disgustingly vulgar objectification and sexualization of females. This is the sort of trash that one would expect from a Playboy-reading misogynist. If the folks at The Review care the least bit about the objectification of women, and scholarship, they should immediately remove this garbage. This is a truly the bottom of the barrel.

Anonymous

Mon Mar 15 2010 00:01

The world is balanced now that there is an equally repugnant column to match UnDressed.

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