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There's nothing I enjoy about the morning. I despise cartoons, I'd rather eat eggs at noon and nothing about seeing the sunrise excites me. Usually, it takes me about an hour to get moving and accept that I am out of bed and forced to face the many tasks the day holds.
All that being said, I guess it's almost a no-brainer to see I'm not a fan of morning sex. Sure it can be nice once in a while, especially if you find yourself waking up uber-randy, but a morning shag will never be on my daily menu.
Now, I know all the guys out there reading this are dropping their jaws and running to hide this column from their partners. Fear not, lads - I've asked around, and the appreciation of a morning romp varies quite a bit from girl to girl. Some love morning sex, saying they wouldn't want to get their day started any other way. Others, like myself, find it to be a daunting task involving far too much activity so early in the morning.
For the girls like me, there are multiple reasons why an a.m. hump is not an ideal way to begin the day.
For starters, many nights where sleepovers occur are nights in which lots of booze is consumed. In this case, a whopping hangover is basically inevitable. When your stomach is grumbling and your head is pounding, any additional movement could very easily send you over the edge.
Any sex worth having should include a significant amount of moving around - something that isn't easy to do when you're on the verge of throwing up. At least an hour and a Vitamin Water are both necessary before getting any quality action the morning after partying.
Additionally, some princesses need the perfect night's sleep in order to do anything active in the a.m. Often, sweet dreams don't occur as easily when you're sharing a bed with a big, burly, space-hogging man. If there are neck cramps, sore backs or achy limbs from spooning all night, the last thing these ladies will want to do is stay in bed with their beast any longer. Give them some space to stretch in the wee hours and hope for a nooner instead.
Other girls might like the idea of morning sex, but just may not be frisky enough to get it started. They may need encouragement from their bedtime buddy in order to heat it up.
Guys wake up with the well-known morning wood quite often, especially if they open their eyes to a hot girl sleeping next to them. It's common for these men to give their lover a hinting poke with their unintentionally pitched tent only to have their advances denied by a cranky girl who isn't in the mood. In this case, morning magic probably isn't out of the question - you just might need to give your girl some time to brush her teeth and help her get in the mood.
If you're one of those girls who loves getting it on when you're getting up in the morning, then good for you. I wish I had your desire. I don't think any man will ever argue your early bird advances.
For those of you who are more on my page, don't let your lack of morning lust get you down. There are plenty of dudes out there who would enjoy your lovin' no matter what time you are giving it. If you want to change your ways, I suggest you give it a try for a few mornings. Who knows? You could love it once you get used to it. Just don't call and give me the details afterward - I'll be sleeping until at least 11.
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